FYI, a southern gentleman does not speak of the deuce he just laid, especially in mixed company. The last person to be interested in your BMs was your mom, and she's dead.
A southern gentleman's table manners do not make one wonder if he's just been let out of the state penn. The southern gentleman, when encountering an inedible bit, does not take out the offending bit, look at it, and invite inquiry before placing it on the plate for display.
Expressions like "it was black-rigged" and "I'm doing black work out here" (when not doing embroidery) do not make you appear tolerant. You can't just substitute the word "black" for the N-word. And no, using the N-word is NOT part of our treasured southern heritage.
A southern gentleman is comfortable in all situations, and you, my friend, are not. Your discomfort in situations where you perceive someone to have more than you is palpable.
A southern gentleman is well-educated. "Nuff said.
So, dear friend, I believe you are southern. You are a man, and you are capable of gentlemanly behaviours at times. But you're not a gentleman. The best I can do here is give you the title "Metro-neck" - for rednecks who aspire.
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